Hell to the ...wait..who the f*ck is this?

Transcript of a call between Clive Davis, Whitney Houston, and Courtney Love:

Whitney Houston: Hello?

Clive: Whitney? Are you there?

Whitney: Who the f*ck is this?

Clive: It's Clive, baby! I've got Courtney Love on the phone here. We need to talk.

Whitney: Hey, girlfriend!

Clive: Hey, Whitney!

Courtney Love: She was talking to me, Clive.

Clive: Right, right.

Courtney: Whit, baby--what's making you do this? Is it Bobby? Is he making you watch Ghostbusters II again?

Whitney: No, no. It's not that. It's just...

Courtney: I know it's hard, hon.

Whitney: Hmm-mm.

Courtney. But you gotta get some help. You never know until you hit rock bottom. Remember that time we were shopping at that Strawberries outlet in Paramus--

Whitney: Yeah--

Courtney: ...and I started talking to all the traffic cones?

Whitney: Baby, that was this past Labor Day!

Courtney: Wait...oh, yeah. Wow.

Clive (interrupting): I think what Courtney's getting at, Whit, is that we all know where you're coming from, we all want to help...

Whitney: I know, it's just...it's just that it's hard. Some days I wake up, and I just want to alphabetize my bathrobes and hotknife some lamp oil, ya dig?

(Silence)

Clive: I don't think I even know what that means.

Courtney: Look, I know what you're sayin'. Why don't you come out to California. We'll hang out, maybe go to the mall, see a movie.

Whitney: Oh, I haven't seen a movie in ages! What's playing?

Courtney: Well, I was gonna go see this Zach Braff movie, The Last Kiss. Are you--

Whitney: Ah, hells to the no!

Courtney: Wait, what..what's wrong?

Whitney: Zach is wack! Zach. Is. Wack. Wait...who the f*ck is this?


Ed. Note: Hot Knife:

Method of smoking hash where a blim is sandwiched between two red hot knives. The resulting smoke is collecting in a plastic bottle (which has had the bottom removed) and inhaled.

As a teenager I had many hot knives at Roudy's house.

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