Update!: ' Ummmm.....'

So, today I received an email back from the person I emailed on this post. It looks like it's some kind of stunt/art project. The deets:

'Greetings!


You are receiving this email because you have replied to a “Cat found” poster (attached) and/or in some way claimed that the precious kitty that I found belongs to you. Below is a running list of names that the cat has been claimed under:


Toby Keith, Possum, Casper, Hairy, Sweet Sweet Pussy, Socks, Mittens, Sprinkles, Tabitha, Nibble Muffin, Toadstool, Pawz, Sharon, Tinkles, Ra, Noodles, Mike Hawk, Blinx and Mr. T.


Unfortunately, my new feline friend does not respond well to any of these names, but instead continues to hiss at me feverishly, ruin my furniture with pungent urine stains and destroy my social life with its high maintenance lifestyle. Kitty is just scared. Kitty misses you.


In an attempt to find the real owner of this darling kitty, I have set up an adventure. I want to find the true owner and get kitty back home where it can be snuggled again, without feeling the need to bite at a face. Here's what kitty and I would like you to do:


Go to Jerry's Record Exchange at 312 East Colfax Ave Denver, Colorado 80203, between Logan and Grant, on Colfax. Speak with the man working at the front of the store (Steve), and explain to him that the cat found in the “Cat found” poster is your cat, and that you miss him. Upon hearing this, the man will give you ONE temporary tattoo depicting your sassy kitty. After saying thank you repeatedly, return home for the next step.


Temp Tattoo

Apply the temporary tattoo to an area of your body that you remember the kitty enjoyed the most. After it is placed, take a picture of your new fancy feline tattoo and email it back to me. My hopes are that I can get kitty to recognize you and by judging kitty's reaction, I can tell who the rightful owner is!


Feel free to get as creative and fun as you would like! Anything that would jar kitty's memories of you! Please try to keep it clean! While kitty and I are open minded individuals, I don't think kitty could handle a picture of your unsightly genitalia in its fragile state!


If for some unholy reason you are out-of-state, please find a creative way to substitute for the tattoo! The image is attached.


Also, accompanying the email with your tattoo image, suggest a song that I should play while I show kitty, to further help it remember. Something you shared together.


I would like to thank you whole heartedly in advance for helping me narrow down my search and getting this amazing trooper of a kitty home to its rightful owner!!!


Forever feline friendly,


Molly Jose Magpie-Sanderson.'