So over the weekend, I came across 'The Pick Up Artist' on VH1.
It's a show where a bunch of dudes with no game, get schooled by 'Mystery', a self described 'pick up artist'.
As I was watching the show, I began to get more and more annoyed by the no-game guys.
[Mystery is annoying himself, but that is another post.]
I was trying to figure out why these guys annoyed me so much, and then it hit: it's because they have extremely low self-esteem, and are hyper self-conscious.
The whole concept of self-loathing is foreign to me.
Granted, as a kid, I was shy, and would often avoid working and playing in groups.
Actually, even today I hate working in groups, but that is more in that I want to be acknowledged for my individual work, and not be responsible that of others.
But I digress.
During puberty, I was a little self-conscious because my hormones made me heavy-set, and really brought out some feminine facial features. [Seriously, I looked almost identical to photos of my mom when she was that age].
Of course, I was teased and stuff, but it never really got to me.
I just shrugged it off, and pressed on.
Eventually, as I entered high school and such, I had no issues being teased or called names.
[And mind you, I was pretty much 'out' in high school.]
In fact as time went on, I kind of became, kind of full of myself, but did not cross the line to being an arrogant, egotistical, a-hole.
It was also during this period, that I partied a lot, and via various chemical substances, even further broke out of my shell, and realized who I was, and what I was all about.
So needless to say, the bright-eyed optimism of my teens and twenties, further strengthened my ego.
In fact, my co-workers used to, and actually still do, tease me of the fact of how full of myself I was, in my early 20's.
I admit I was super self-confident, and kind of over the top, but I wasn't mean or anything.
I was just a beyotch.
Ha.
Kidding.
So while watching this show, I was just amazed how these guys felt so low about themselves, that they couldn't even strike up a conversation with a complete stranger.
Luckily I don't have that social filter/hangup.
I can approach pretty much anyone.
And oddly enough, for some reason, I guess I come across as approachable, because more often than not, people approach me, and often share too much information way too soon.
You know how I post those cheesy pick up lines?
Like I told Clever Fool, I have actually used them in the past.
To great effect.
They actually do work sometimes, but you have to be willing to follow through with acting like a dork for it to be successful.
Ha.
Well, that along with other stuff.
Sometimes I even amaze myself of how brazen I can be in public.
For some reason this episode also made me think of some of my friends, that even though they are drop dead gorgeous, they are jealous of me because of how easily I interact with people.
Seriously this one friend of mine, who was a model, often said he wish he could trade places with me.
WTF?
Yah, right.
But then again, it's the self-conscious good looking types that often lament the fact that they're single, because they're convinced that their good looks are intimidating.
Ha.
Maybe yes, sometimes, but I think a person's confidence is a major factor in people finding you attractive.
I would tell them this, but they never seemed to 'get it'.
Anywho, as time as passed, I have mellowed a bit, but I still can't wrap my head around people being afraid to talk to strangers, because of a fear of rejection.
Rejection is part of life, and can be something to learn from.
It really makes me wonder, how I ended up without the problems the guys on the show have.
Is it just an innate Aries trait?
Or is it a product of the way I grew up?
What do you guys think: is it nature or nurture when it comes to self-conscious and self-depricating personalty types?
* I have actually used this line to hit on people. Ha ha.
Denver
