Funny Coz' It's True

'Last thing I'll mention... on the subway this morning, there was a middle-aged businesswoman CLIPPING HER FINGERNAILS like that wasn't the grossest thing you can do in public outside of sh-tting in a bucket while crying on a dead baby.

Lady, c'mon... I might have holes in my clothes and I might smell like rotgut whiskey bought on sale and I might just generally look like a cleaned-up hobo recently released from detox, but you... you make garbage look like a high school Valedictorian with a full ride to Yale. I hope you, at minimum, get hit in the face with a shovel.'

Friday Morning Hodgepodge