Friday, August 08, 2008

Arrested Development Quote Of The Day



Gob: '..Although, I did finally manage to get in dad's pants.'

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Monday, July 28, 2008



Sophia: I can't believe it. Esther Weinstock is dead.

Dorothy: Oh I'm so sorry Ma, How'd it happen?

Sophia: [sarcastically] She was fighting an oil rig fire in the Gulf of Mexico.

SHE WAS 88!

Rose: Well, it's good that she kept fighting right up to the end.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Mr. Jellineck: 'It's not a cold sore!

I... bumped my lip on a biscuit.'

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Minister Arsenew: 'What is this 'Freedom of Speech' people are speaking so freely about?....

Is it ok to yell 'fire!' at a crowded book burning?

Did Jesus just go around just saying anything that came in to his head?

Yes, he did.

And what happened to him?

That's right...they nailed him to a telephone pole!

What does this parable teach us??

KEEP YER YAPPERS SHUT!!!

It's what God wants.'

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ack!



All I have eaten today is a baked potato with salt and pepper, and a cup of Special K.

I feel like such a heifer.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Jerri Blank: History has taught us many things.

For example, I can't smoke one stick of pot, or take one needle of coke.

One night – I'll make this quick – one night, I was thrown by a horse and I had to have an emergency laminectomy.

Now you all know the size of a king-size sheet, right?

Well, you try scrambling down that in the dark after a boot of scag or a snort of horse...

Chuck Noblet: Really, Jerri, that's fine. What was your report on again?

Jerri: Brazil.

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Jerri Blank: 'That's funny, why does your finger, smell like his ass?'

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

'It's like living in a prison.'... 'Minus the beatings and the sodomy.'

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?





Audio NSFW

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sixteen Candles Soundboard

Friday, October 12, 2007

Ever hang around the gymansium?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sometimes I question your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Ha.



So I just re-watched 'Idiocracy', and my new favorite line from that movie is 'Carl's Jr. - F*ck you, I'm eating'.

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Monday, August 13, 2007

40 Year Old Virgin Soundboard



Audio NSFW

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



“I'm shaken and upset. So if you'd like to send baskets or donations I've written my address, it's at the back of the class on the easel. But please, no mylar balloons. They never deflate and I don't have the heart to throw them away.”

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Ha.



'I'm going out on a limb here and guessing if my kid were mauled by a bear last weekend, I wouldn't be trolling the Defamer website for laughs a few days later.

Just a hunch.'

More 'Captivity' Ad Fun: Elisha Cuthbert Vs. The Grizzly Bears


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Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Jerri Blank: 'God's a little bland.'

From episode 'Blank Stare: Part 1'

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Jerri Blank [to Derrick Blank]: 'Why you're just a rack of bones, covered in a thin layer of fag.'

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Derrick Blank: 'I'm going to squat my way to the top.'

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Strangers With Candy Quote Of The Day



Sara Blank: "I'm her Stepmother. Since you're so popular, I wouldn't want you thinking that she slithered out of my womb."

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