Worst. Movie. Ever.

'Undead'

Was stoked because it's a zombie movie, but it's just plain stupid.

Supposedly some aliens send down meteors and cast rain showers on some little town in Australia.

You can tell they were trying to be all Shaun Of The Dead with humor and stuff.

Didn't work.

You learn nothing about the hero-bad ass.

The rain supposedly is acid and burns their clothes, yet on skin it's fine.

The continuity of burning clothing is non-existent.

And at the end, the aliens suck all the people up in the sky, and then return them all back to life and healthy.

Whua?

No explanation given as to why the aliens only chose this town either.

And as you guessed it, the zombie virus comes back.

Total waste of my time and brain cells.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Factory Girl'

I actually liked it.

I think Sienna and Guy Pearce gave great performances.

But oh man, does Hayden Christiansen suck.

He really can't act and comes across as very phony/trying too hard.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Iraq In Fragments'

Interesting movie.

You get to see the whole debacle from the Iraqi point of view.

The segment regarding the Kurds is quite moving.

Friggin' Bush.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Soylent Green'

Overrated.

Slow.

Uneventful, if you already know that 'Soylent Green is people'.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Beastly Boyz'

Video is pretty much softcore gay porn.

Usual David DeCoteau fare, but this is one is almost absurd.

The first fifteen minutes is nothing but the main character working out.

I think there's only ten lines of dialogue.

And the killer has a fetish for rubbing knives along his victims, sexily, before going in for the kill.

Great C-movie to have some cocktails and watch with friends.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Zombies Anonymous'

Audio NSFW

Interesting premise, horrible execution.

It starts off kind of like a black comedy, but ends up turning in to this almost laughable grindhouse flick.

The Commandant character is just ridiculous.

Zombies Anonymous

I Heart Anna Faris.

'House Bunny'

Cute film, if not predictable.

But I love Anna.

And who knew she had such a smokin' bod?

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Altered'

Dumb.

With really annoying characters and a hysterical-looking midget alien.

'Altered'

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Descent'

F'd up ending!

Twisted movie.

Deep, dark, and slow.

You do get full frontal of Chad Faust though.

One of those movies that I'm not sure if I like or hate.

[Didn't Rosario get raped in Kids as well?]

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Wristcutters - A Love Story'

Great movie.

Quirky and fun despite involving suicide.

Will Arnett is in it too.

Blurb Movie Review - 'The Signal'

Oh man.

Sucked.

Had an interesting premise, but gets very confusing as you don't know what 'reality' is.

It seriously gave me a headache.

Like cinematic paella.

Finally got around to seeing 'Volver' and enjoyed it.

Almodóvar is one of my fave directors.

'Women On The Verge' was actually one of my fave movies as a kid.

Anywho, 'Volver' is complex because it's funny, dark, poignant, and sad all the same time.

I used to think Penelope Cruz wasn't that attractive, but she's actually pretty hot in this movie.

Totally not what I expected.

The Nines

I was expecting a little indie film, but instead got a deep philosophical movie.

I dug it, and it's still resonating with me.

Kind of reminds me of Donnie Darko.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Shrooms'

Actually, not that bad.

And I like the twist at the end.

'Shrooms'

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Sunshine'

Wow.

I didn't know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised.

The ending is kind of beautiful and poignant:

Blurb Movie Reviews: 'Imaginary Heroes'

Not bad.

Kinda dark and twisted if you think about it, but everyone gives a great performance.

And I have to admit, I find Emile Hirsch cute in a odd way.

There's a gay kiss in it too:



Kiki and Herb make an appearance as well.

Sigourney rulez.

One of the worst movies, ever.

'Sublime'

It's slow, pointless, and tries to be something it's not.

Stay away from this stink-burger.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Cloverfield' **Spoilers!**

Holy schnikes, the action scenes were intense!

The main plotline was LAME!

I knew no one made it, but I couldn't wait for Rob to be killed off.

He IS a douchebag.

I woulda let him go get Beth all by himself.

And honestly, they could have tightened up the party scene at the beginning.

I'm sure the goverment really wants to sit through some NYC 20-something's party video.

I am glad we got to see more of the creature than I was expecting.

So not believable is that a camcorder battery would last to tape the whole ordeal.

I want to see it again, but I don't think I can stomach watching Rob again.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Leather Jacket Love Story'

It's a mash-up of gay porn and every cliched queer flick rolled in to one.

I even recognized some of the porn stars in the bathhouse scene.

I have to give it credit, though, for pushing the envelope.

I have seen worse.

Blurb Movie Reviews - 'Stranger Than Fiction'

Ok, this movie was totally not what was presented in the trailer.

I was expecting a comedy, not a semi-depressing story about a guy who is supposed to die.

Yeouch.

I liked it, but wasn't expecting it.

Who knew Will Ferrell could do straight up drama.