Assistant to boss: I need to leave early today for a dentist's appointment. Would that be okay?

Boss: Sure, is at 2:30?

Assistant: 2:30?? No, it's at 3.

Boss: Well, it should be at 2:30.

Assistant: Why?

Boss (chuckling): Because you're tooth hurty. Get it? Two thirty, tooth hurty.

Assistant: Are you kidding me?

Overheard In The Office

Hee hee.

Person #1: Remember our old boss that nine people quit because of?

Person #2: Um, how could I not remember crazy McBitcherson?

Person #1: Well, two people have already quit because of her at her new job. My roommate works there.

Person #2: Wow. Someone should start a blog about her and entitle it: "That bitch is whack".

Person #1: I'm on it!

Overheard In The Office

Ha ha.

'Office bimbette: So, my friend got me a Sudoku book, but I can't start doing it yet because she has to send the Sudoku pencil. It has an eraser on the end -- only Sudoku makes them that way.'

Overheard In The Office

Hee hee.

Boss: Hey, how do you spell 'Japanese'?

[Peon spells it.]

Hmmm, do you think she was Japanese? How do you spell 'Chinese'?

[Peon spells it.]

I don't know if she was Chinese, though... Here's what we'll do --

[begins typing letter] 'The child speaks Asian...' Wait, how do you spell 'Asian'?

Overheard

Ha.

Suit #1: What was that?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: You just hid something when I came up.
Suit #2: It was my juice box, because it's... You know...
Suit #1: What? There's nothing wrong with drinking juice from a box. I love juice boxes.

Assistant, walking up: What are you guys talking about?
Both suits, in unison: Nothing.

Overheard

Overheard In My Office

Drone 1: Are you in the phone?
Drone 2: Oh, I am now.
Drone 1: I am going to make a run really quick. Everyone else disappeared.
Drone 2: Ok

--The Corporation

Overheard Everywhere

Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.

Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?

Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!

Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.

Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.

Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...

Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.

Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks

Overheard In NYC

High chick: Now, I love ass, don't get me wrong. But it's not all I think about when I think about baseball. I mostly think about triangles.

Dude: Huh?

High chick: Baseball.

Dude: Triangles.

High chick: They're both trapezoids.

Dude: What the f*ck?

High chick: I don't know. My point is, I hate girls.

--Times Square

Overheard by: Bruce

Overheard In The Office

Tech: I want to quit crack. Start a diet. You know, that kind of thing.

- Thornton, Co