Monday, July 31, 2006

Pee Wee Sez': 'Les Claymates, sont fous!'

'John Paulus, the ex-Marine who made headlines by claiming that he had a tawdry gay tryst in a hotel room with the squeaky-clean pop idol, has been denied protection from the FBI, which he apparently sought out after being 'bombarded' with death threats from crazed Aiken fans.

'The Claymates', described as 'a loosely organized army of middle-aged women', have been operating under the radar for some time now, beginning with secret after-hours 'Claymate Club' meetings in church basements, Olive Gardens and suburban salons across the country, where they would plot ways to fight the rumors about their idol's sexuality, that keep popping up in the press.'

Best Week Ever

'Hot and Spicy' is the new 'Extreme'

I was eating my Hot And Spicy Cheezits, when I was reminded of an article I read discussing that the new angle in marketing, was making stuff hot, and spicy.

It was a related article on how McDonald's dropped their spicy chicken sandwich due to low sales, yet Wendy's version, is flying off the shelves.

It talked about how, with an increase in the number of Hispanic and Latino populations, more and more companies are looking at infusing their products with non-traditional flavors. They also cited how the Gen X'ers and Baby Boomers are big on food from other cultures, like Thai and Indonesian; and that it is invading popular culture as well.

It makes sense, but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. But if you stop and look, you can see it. McDonald's has an Asian salad I hear. Asian/Latin fusion restaurants are all the rage. Even Colorado is starting to turn in to Texas, where signage in public spaces, is in English, and Spanish.

When that trickles down to a bag of Cheezits, it makes you think: is this really an influence of a change in pop culture? Or is it just the Tabasco people wanting a larger market share, and thus, piddling their sauce in just about any item that they think it will enhance? [There's even Tabasco flavored popcorn at your local Kwik E Mart!].

Whenever I read articles that examine today's society, I always like to go back and think of what Mr. and Mrs. Typical American, from the 1950's, would think. As if they were somehow transported to our crazy Future Land.

Imagine them seeing a bunch of cellphone talking, crackberry using, people in $300 jeans, retro tennis shoes, getting out of their safety laden SUV's, to go eat tequila and sesame seared prawns, while drinking mojitos, as a DJ plays Bhangra in the background.

It would probably seem bizarre, as the most exotic food of that time in the U.S.was Chop Suey.

Gilded Moose Post Of The Day

Hotel Name

So for my Hospitality Design class we have to come up with a concept for a hotel. I have been toying using the name 'Bex', but I just thought of something cheeky.

Like how we went from 'W', single letter concepts, to overly namey concepts like 'J. W. Marriot', to have fun with it, I would call mine 'Houghton And Holleran'. Get it? Hootin' and Hollerin'?

I'm such a geek.

Hubba Hubba 9

Balthazar Getty

Clay mentioned him in one of his posts. He got me at 'Lost Highway'.

The Butterscotch Stallion Speaks

In response to Steely Dan getting their panties in a twist over 'You, Me, And Dupree':

'In a statement released by his spokeswoman, Ina Treciokas, Wilson said: "I have never heard the song `Cousin Dupree' and I don't even know who this gentleman, Mr. Steely Dan, is. I hope this helps to clear things up and I can get back to concentrating on my new movie, `HEY 19.''

This has to be a joke.

The Butter Trough

Who would go to a restaurant where the only things on the menu are hot melted butter, bread and breadsticks, and tea?


Snapple 'Real Fact' #116

'Chewing gum, while peeling onions, will keep you from crying.'

Filming in Denver

From: Brando
Sent: Sun 7/30/2006 1:33 PM
To: John
Subject: Sunday Sighting

Hey John,

Do you know if anything else is being filmed in Denver right now? I was on Broadway, going south at Speer, when a police escort and a camera rig passed by. The Jeep on the film rig was far from new, so I don't think it was the Real World cast.

Any ideas?


From: John
To: "Brando"
Subject: RE: Sunday Sighting
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2006 17:11:53 -0600

I know this week The Real World has been filming the "introduction" to the episodes, going around to iconic places in the city and shooting the cast tanding around and looking cool or whatever. That could be it? Or maybe B-roll for interstitial moments?

If it's not them it could be an indie film. There's one called "Skills Like This" currently being filmed in the city. There's another one with Josh Hartnett based here but I don't know if they're filming in town yet or if it's going to be a lot of L.A. soundstage stuff. There should be more info in Bill Husted's gossip columns on Try doing some searches through his stuff about it...


Mel Gibson hates Jewish people.

His dad did say, that the Holocaust never happened.

Hollywood Split over Mel Gibson's future

'LOS ANGELES (AP) - A stunned Hollywood debated the future of one of its biggest stars Sunday as a sheriff's watchdog launched an investigation into a possible cover up of a leaked report that quoted Mel Gibson unleashing a tirade of anti-Semitic remarks during a drunken driving arrest.

One media expert said Gibson irreparably damaged his career with his "crazy" behavior following his arrest by Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputies in Malibu early Friday. Charges of anti-Semitism were also leveled against the actor-director with the release of his 2004 blockbuster "The Passion of the Christ."

"It's a nuclear disaster for him," said publicist Michael Levine, who has represented Michael Jackson and Charlton Heston, among others. "I don't see how he can restore himself."

The entertainment Web site TMZ posted what it said were four pages from the original arrest report, which quoted Gibson as launching an expletive-laden "barrage of anti-Semitic remarks" after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway.'

Friday, July 28, 2006

Hell to the blow!

Lohan's gonna get fired.

A letter from the CEO of Morgan Creek Productions, the company behind the movie 'Georgia Rule', that Lohan is currently filming.

[Click Image To Enlarge]


There is this place called Christie's across the street from my work that has a sign saying:

'4 DVDs - 20$ Now Hiring All Positions'

It made me chuckle because Christie's is an adult bookstore. I think it would be funny if some hooligan removed the 'now hiring' portion in the middle of the night.

Robert Best is on Friendster!


Name: Robert
Location: West Hollywood

Helen just sent me his profile.

On 7/28/06, Pee Wee wrote:

That's funny. Saw my hubby Robert in the tank top last night.
You're right,hubba hubba.

From: Helen Damnation
To: Pee Wee
Subject: Re: New comment on Here we go again.

I just friendster messaged him and told him I thought so.

Fack me, I'm famous.

'A good 3/4 of the available items were in English, but they were so poorly translated that I ended up having to leave the store because the sales girl didn't appreciate my raucous laughter and constant picture taking. An example:

- 'Fack me I'm famous'

That's from Logged Hours' post on her trip to Croatia. Having looked up some tourist sites, Croatia actually looks pretty cool. I want to go there now. For some reason, I pictured Croatia as being somewhat of a Second World country, what with that war and ethnic cleansing in Serbia and all, but it's surprisingly what one thinks of when you think of the Mediterranean Coast.

Pimp Babies

'A couple years ago, when I registered my now defunct through exhaustion blog which happens to have the word 'pimp' conspicuously in the URL, one of the suggested URLs GoDaddy handed back to me was 'PIMPBABIES.COM'.

I was confused: were the babies the pimps, or were they merely the tricks? I almost registered it because the former reading was pretty hysterical, but then started fearing government agencies might parse it as the latter.'

Consumerist [I'm assuming it's Ben]


Germany Aufs Wal-Mart

'BERLIN (AP) -- Wal-Mart Stores Inc. said Friday it plans to sell its 85 stores in Germany to rival Metro AG, a move that effectively ends a nearly decade-long effort by the world's largest retailer to crack the market in Europe's biggest economy.

Furthermore, Schlueter said consumers rejected some of Wal-Mart's signature features, like stores outside of town centers, employees required to smile and heartily greet customers, or baggers at checkouts.'

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Hee hee. That, Helen.

On her post about

'Penis envy?

So I finally break down and do the celebrity face match thing on, only to discover that I look just like Chad Michael Murray.

Suicide impending. I recommend submitting your claims on my stuff now; I'd hate for battles over my Wolverine telephone and crappy Ikea furniture to erupt amongst my loved ones after I'm gone.

But hey, at least now I understand why the gays love me. I'm a damn fine piece of man-meat.'

Barney Boy said...

Hee hee. I find it funny how people break down out of curiousity on the MyHeritage thing. It could be worse, it could have said you looked like Jason Biggs like it did me.

Helen the Felon said...

Barney: Thank you. I feel better. And you look nothing like Jason Biggs. (Recall that I have seen you naked.)

Honestly, the question at this point is who hasn't seen me naked, at least in Denver.

Here we go again.

We're like Ike and Tina Turner, minus the physical violence.

From: Dave
Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:40 PM
To: Brando

do you want to come over to my house and hang out with family and
paul, gabe, angela, mom, other sister, my new girl, peter? i would love
to have you over for drinks and food. bring something. please come over

To: Dave
Subject: RE: Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2006 13:39:14 -0600

thanks, but maybe another time, I don't really feel like being social
right now.

From: Dave
Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 3:30 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE:

everything ok you dont seem like your social that much anymore. you never call me to do anything very much. please dont say i am busy cuz everybody is busy. and just because i say no here and there doesnt mean that you just give up. life is busy. frankly this whole mom thing has put alot of pressure on me along with everything else in my life so i really hope you understand that.

From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 4:13 PM
To: Dave
Subject: RE:

It has been exactly 10 years since we have had issues. It was in 96, where I got kicked to the curb, and had to go to Austin.

some people think stuff happens in cycles

I don't make an effort to call, because I never know when your available, and yes, after being shot down a few times, I figure, what's the point? I'll just do it myself. Most people would have the same reaction.

My favorite part is how that got turned around on me like I did something wrong [deciding to go to body worlds on my own, even though you knew my availability, yet I didn't hear from you on when you cold go].

Your life may be busy, but mine certainly is not. I took the summer off from school for a reason; because after 3 years ongoing school/work, I needed a break.

Yes, I understand, and sympathize, with your mother situation.

I am not mad at you or anything, but I just don't want to get into anything with you, so I am letting you, let me know when your available to do something, to prevent any issues.

Lance Bass Plays Spin The Bottle

Eric Clapton is highly overrated.

'Let My Love Open The Door'. Are you serious? A kindergartner could write a better song.


I love Lime's nachos. This is right near me:

'Los Troncos at 730 E. Sixth Ave. (across from Don's Mixed Drinks) is set to become a second location for Lime, the Mexican restaurant/nightclub on Larimer Square, called Lime XS (extra small, extra special)'

Bill Husted

It's about time they did something with that building.

Sage announces Executive Tower Inn plan

'Sage Hospitality Resources announced plans today to turn downtown Denver's shuttered Executive Tower Inn into a boutique hotel called The Curtis.

The 336-room hotel, set to open in December, will have a pop-culture theme and contemporary décor.

"We are creating a whimsical flair for the hotel. There are other independent hotels in the city but nothing like The Curtis," Sage Hospitality president Walter Isenberg said in a press release. "We want to capitalize on the rich tradition of the area, our neighbor across the street, The Denver Performing Arts Complex, and the trend nationally towards experiential travel."

Located at 1405 Curtis St., the pet-friendly hotel will also feature 20,000 square feet of meeting space, high-speed wireless Internet throughout, a fitness center and two restaurants.'

Maybe it really is heat exhaustion and dehydration this time.

It has been super hot in Cali.

Lindsay Lohan overcome by heat

'LOS ANGELES (AP) - Actress Lindsay Lohan was overcome by the heat on a movie set and required hospital treatment, her publicist told "The Insider" Wednesday.

The 20-year-old actress was taken by private car Tuesday to a Los Angeles area hospital where she spent several hours being treated for overheating and dehydration, spokeswoman Leslie Sloan Zelnick told the syndicated entertainment show.'

Update: Maybe not.

Paparazzi photogs have come out with a timeline of Lohan's night:

'11:30 pm - party at Guy's with Harry Morton

1:45 am - slam head against car while leaving club

2:30 am - arrive on the set of "Georgia Rules" for night shoots in downtown LA

4:00 am - collapse from heat exhaustion

4:30 am - go to the hospital to find out real reason for collapse

6:00 am - released from hospital; head to Harry's Malibu pad to recover

8:00 pm - dinner at Il Sole with Harry

9:30 pm - head to Chateau Marmont'

Update: In response to her flack saying she got a B12 shot for dehydration:

'Having worked in a hospital pharmacy for 12 years, I know that Vitamin B (Thiamine, typically 100mg injected intramuscularly) shots are NOT given for 'dehydration', or 'heat exhaustion', but rather for alcohol detox, and to help avoid the sometimes dangerous symptoms and/or seizure activity associated with "DT's".'


How can one city make a difference, with something that is global?

Hottest destination in 2100: Aspen

'ASPEN (AP) - A study released by the city of Aspen says the town could be as hot as Texas by 2100.

The study released yesterday by the Aspen Global Change Institute says the average temperature in Aspen has increased by three degrees in the past 25 years.

Besides eliminating skiing, it will be difficult to find enough water to deal with the growing population and higher temperatures. The report says hay fields and other crops will require more water.

Rafting seasons and fishing seasons will be shorter because the snow will melt earlier.

The report says some wildlife will not be able to survive.

Aspen Mayor Helen Klanderud says the city is committed to doing what it can to slow or reserve global warming.'

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Liveblogging: 'Project Runway'

Yes, I'm lame.

But I am loading stuff for my mp3 player, and, it's on. Plus, Logged Hours is out of the country, so mabe I can help keep her up to date.

8:01 - Robert Best. Yay! My future husband.

8:02 - Kayne remids me of 'Chucky', from 'Child's Play'.

8:03 - Bradley looks like the singer of that band that sung 'Three Princes'. Wait. Spin Doctors. That's it! If he got a haircut. And horses?

8:05 - Oh man, dogs? Seriously?

8:06 - Tim Gunn for president. 'Make it work.'

8:07 - The blonde chick, Allison, looks like Paris Hilton's less trashy a good way. Of course, an architect would have to be finicky.

8:09 - Putting an animal print, on an animal? I think that's wrong. Missoni, nice. Robert is going for 'Rehab Chic'. Hee hee, 'oh, Rahhhhb'.

How gay am I, that I know the Missoni reference? Although, I would say his fabric choice was more Pucci, than Missoni. Thank you, W. [Side note on the W link: I wish I would have thought of using 'House Of Harlot' for my blog name].

8:16 - Wow...what channel is gayer, Bravo or Logo? The chick from 'Work Out' is a lesbian?


Jeffrey, please lose the Vanilla Ice shaved eyebrow. Stop trying to make that happen again. That's very 1988, and in a non-ironic, hipster way. Although, I kinda like his tats on his neck.

8:17 - Vincent is high.

8:19 - I agree with the architect, and Helen, Keith needs to go. they are doing an outift for the model, AND the dog. I thought it was just dogs. The pug is actually kinda cute. And this coming from a dude who is not a fan of small dogs.

8:21 - Angela reminds me of my lesbian party pal Wendy. I miss her. We had some crazy times. She used to let me take her car after, afterhours [!].

8:24 - Oh yah, Macy's took over for the Banana. I wonder if it is because Gap isn't doing so well.

8:29 - Who would put a dog in silk? Their claws would rip it to shreds.

8:30 - Unrelated thought: What do people with seeing eye dogs do about the dog's poo? They obviously don't pick it up outside, like other people. Or do they? Anyone know? Do they have a 'dogbox' instead of a 'catbox'?

8:31 - Laura's dress for her model reminds me of 'Fraggle Rock'.

'Tallulah', what a great name. If I get a bulldog again, she is going to be named that.

8:33 - L'oreal makeup 'tip guy needs' micro-dermabrasion for his acne scars. Actually, so do I.

8:35 - 'The Descent' looks cool. I was shocked, too, when I saw Subway was making pizzas now. It looks like Subway is trying to become the new Taco Bell; where they have 9 million things on the menu.

8:37 - Bradley has the cuter dog. Damn, Heidi's hawt, and has got great legs.

8:38 - Not Ivanka again! She reminds me of a white Maya Rudolph.

8:29: The Runway:

Kayne's: - Great look for the model, not the dog

Ulee's: Cute for both, except for the words on the dog.

Robert's: Hubby, it looks like you put a used pink sock on the dog.

Bradley's: Ick for both.

Allison's: Like the model's dress, the dog's outfit sucks.

Keith's: You're SO going home. Horrid dress, and no outfit for the dog. Duh, that's the challenge.

Pug Chick's: Ok.

Snowboarder chick's: I like them. The dog reminds me of Gizmo from 'Gremlins'.

Black gayngster's: I like.

Architect's: Still Fraggle Rock

Angela's: I dig, except for that horrid pink skirt.

Last one: Cute dog. Didn't see the outfits though, due to typing. But that's ok, this episode will be on like 50 more times in the next few days, as Bravo is the 'Runway' channel.

8:46 - 'That is one hot momma to be working with kids. Belly showing, boobies out. Damn' - Go Heidi!

8:48 - Heidi calling out Keith on the bracelet he 'made'. Nice.

8:50 - Streetwalker.


Send Keith home!

I think Ulee should win. Her, or the snowboarder chick.

8:51 - Yay! Next week is the 'Kicked Off The Show' episode.

8:54 - Jay reminds me of my fabulous [and I rarely use that term], flaming gay friends from my Tracks days.

8:56 - Ulee won! Maybe, I am, a fashionsita after all. Keith go home. Keith go home. Keith go home.

8:57 - Damn! Keith stays. He sucks.

8:58 - I'm conflicted. I liked Angela's, but I feel sorry for snowboarder, being 'auf weidersen'. Go forth, snowboarder, and keep designing!

8:59 - Oh, snap! Maybe it's Kayne going home....[?]

And this concludes Brando's Gay Liveblogging for the week.

Today In 'Goggle Nazi'

Goggle Nazi happened to be working today. He wasn't at the front desk, rather, he was doing some cleaning/maintenance looking activities. At the desk however, was maybe a new breed of Tanning Specialist: The Lotion Nazi.

Unlike Goggle Nazi, she didn't require me to show her my goggles. Rather, she wanted to know which brand of lotion I was using. Do they track these things, seriously? Or is it an attempt to upsell me?

I reply, 'the one with the mean, hemp in it'. [It actually does have hemp in it].

My answer passed the test.

While this was transpiring, Goggle Nazi stopped what he was doing and came by the far side of the desk, just kind of hanging out. I could see in my peripheral version he was watching me with the Lotion Nazi. I was planning on walking by him and saying 'howdy' on the way to my bed, but alas!, the Lotion Nazi gave me a bed on the opposite side of the salon.

I go to my bed, and the second I lie down, the music changes from Hip Hop to...wait for it.....Gay Techno. Seriously, I felt like I was at Tracks.

Did Goggle Nazi change it as some sort of sign? Or did lotion Nazi think that music was more my style, for as usual, I was the only one in the salon? If it was the latter, she made the wrong decision. I abhor cheesey Gay Techno.

I have to say it cracked me up. Last time I was in and Goggle Nazi was working, they were blasting Jessica Simpson. Yeesh.

Unfortunately, when I finished, and came out, Goggle Nazi wasn't around. I was going to engage him in conversation, and see if the music stylings were his choice, but he was AWOL. Guess I will have to find out next time.

Yay! I am getting published in Westword again.

I wrote in a while back about this one chick's funny post on quitting smoking, and got published in letter's to the editor. Wrote in about this story, and got the following from Patricia Calhoun, editor of Westword:

>>> Brando > 07/26/06 1:47 PM >>>
DATE/TIME:July 26, 2006, 12:47 pm MST
SUBJECT:Becky Due wants to eradicate the B-word.
LETTER:Your link to her site on her blog works, but there isn't anything on her 'Bitch Crusade' there.

I wanted to see what she thought of the of the use of the variant 'beeyotch'.
Probably against that too.

----- Original Message -----
Patricia Calhoun
Sent: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 3:56 PM
Subject: Re: Becky Due wants to eradicate the B-word.

thanks. I didn't see anything, either. we'll check it out. in the meantime, can we publish your letter?


Woman testifies about cell phone in throat

'INDEPENDENCE, Mo. (AP) -- Prosecutors say a man shoved a cell phone down his girlfriend's throat because he was angry and jealous. But defense attorneys insisted as a trial got underway that the woman swallowed the phone intentionally to keep the defendant from seeing whom she had been calling.'

What is up with Calvin Klein jeans?

Seriously, who needs such long pockets? They almost go all the way down to your knee. God forbid you have anything in them; it makes you look like you have Proteus Syndrome.

In honor of Lance Bass coming out....

It's about time

Finally, Nip/Tuck is coming back on air.

Hagman, O'Donnell, Shields to appear on 'Nip/Tuck'

'PASADENA, Calif. (AP) - Larry Hagman, Brooke Shields and Rosie O'Donnell are among the celebrities set for guest roles on "Nip/Tuck" this season.

The Golden Globe-winning drama about two Miami plastic surgeons who are best friends and business partners returns for its fourth season Sept. 5 on Fox.'

Yet people still want to make abortions illegal.

'Police affidavit says Corbett gave birth to the baby in the shower and cut the umbilical cord with a nearby pair of scissors. Then the affidavit says she wrapped the entire baby in a towel, including the face, and put the child into the entertainment center, closing the doors to hide the baby.

In the police affidavit her parents admit they were suspicious Corbett was pregnant, but say she always denied it. She told them she was just gaining weight.'


I hate pointless conference calls.

Anyone with me?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is it me....

or does the Miami Vice movie look exceptionally lame?

Hell's Kitchen - Fare Thee Well, Garrett

I have had a hankering for linguine and clams in a white wine and garlic sauce, for some time now. Rather than spend a nice chunk of change at Bambino's, I figured I'd attempt to make it myself, as my Caveman Diet has made me even more finicky when it comes to food.

Even though the last thing I wanted to do last night was cook, I hunkered down and began cooking. I managed to finish around 7, and everything turned out better than expected. Side note: use Chardonnay for the wine, instead of Riesling, as in a previous attempt to make a sauce for chicken, Riesling made it turn out horribly wrong.

A while back I got sucked in to Hell's Kitchen when it first came on. I have seen Gordon Ramsey on other shows before. He's a piece of work, let me tell you. He's got quite the temper and foul mouth.

Gordon Ramsey

The cooking was done, so I figured I watch some boob tube. Last night it was down to the final five. The remaining 'chefs', were combined in to one team. The last two guys in the house, Keith [a wannabe gangster from Southampton], and Garrett [an ex con] have been shown as being buddies. That is until Keith wins the first challenge, and chooses to take Virginia with him to visit the restaurant space they 'win' in Vegas, instead of his buddy Garret. Snap!



You could see Garrett fuming. One of the other chicks made a funny comment of 'I hope there's no knives in the dorm', as Garrett storms out of the kitchen to go confront Keith.

Keith knew he did wrong, and apologized to Garrett, but he wasn't having it. The viewers and the other 'chefs', were all waiting for Garrett to stick a shiv in him, right there in the 'prison yard'. But he didn't.

The editors later cleverly edited it to look like Garrett was playing with a butcher's knife while waiting for Keith and Virginia to get back from their trip.

Anywho, so this little episode spins it that you are rooting for Garrett. He has been an ass most of the season, making misogynistic comments here and there to the women chefs. But they pulled out the violins, and sappy music, to get you to identify with his early struggle with having anger management issues, and being sent to juvie, and then I guess later, prison. It kinda worked.

Eventually we get to the meal service for that night, and Gordon Ramsey is being a prick as usual. I understand an artist feeling passionate about their work, but he is just a foul mouthed bastige. He yells at everyone, but the best part comes when a customer comes and complains up at the serving line.

She asks how much longer will her food take, but he tells her to shut up, and give him 30 seconds. This pisses her off. So what does she do? She throughs the tray with a table's meal' over the line' on to Ramsey' and the floor. Hooray! It's about time someone stood up to this guy.

Another funny moment was the reaction on Jean Phillipe's face [the maitre d] after Ramsey makes a comment to him about losing his virginity finally, as Jean Phillipe was flirting with a bachelorette party.

Jean Phillipe

The meal service ends, and then it's elimination time. Garrett gets the axe. In one night it went from him being a prick, to you feeling kinda sorry for him. It almost negated all his earlier actions in the show.

So they show clips for next week, and it looks like Sara has the cojones to talk back to Gordon Ramsey. Should be interesting. I have dealt with a few Gordon Ramsey's of world in my life, and I am proud to say, I didn't take their shite, or given them the ego massage to deal with their ego problem. I can't believe how people will be humiliated and subserviant to win a reality TV show, but then again, I'm not.


The point of this post? I have toyed with the idea of going to Culinary school since I have discovered I love to cook. Heck, I am already going to School for Interior Design, I might as well become the next Martha Stewart.

But thank god there are shows like Hell's Kitchen to remind me of the harsh pecking order of a commercial kitchen. Having worked in quite a few restaurants in my life, it brings me to back to my senses of how working in a kitchen, can literally be hell.

For now, I think I will save the thousands of dollars for a culinary degree, and continue doing my own 'Iron Chef Brando's' on my own time.

Up is down. Black is white.

I can't believe I am admitting this on the 'nets, but BBC Radio 1 has actually affected me.

The revelation? I actually don't hate the Paris Hilton single that is out. I am sure I will catch a lot of flack for this, but gotta come clean. I still loathe her though, that will never change. I just pretend someone else is singing the song.

Further realization, the new Justin Timberlake single is lame.

Madonna's 'Get Together' is growing on me although, I still am not a huge fan of the 'Confessions' album. I must say the video for Together' reminds me of a mash up of an iPod commercial and those VH1 bumpers they used to show about a year ago.

Finally, Robbie Williams is very touch and go for me. He's totally an acquired British taste. Some songs I like, most I don't. But his new single, 'Rudebox' I kind of dig. You Tube has a snippet of a lady rocking out to it here.

A view on blogging

Daniel Schorr, NPR:

'It's just you and a little machine and you can make history. I find that scary. Nobody should get into print or on the air without some kind of editor.'

I wonder if the poliferation of blogs since the last election will have any impact on the next one.

Matthew McJedi

Over at Best Week Ever there is an animated GIF using Matthew's beach yoga pics that are surfing the 'nets, mashed up with Star Wars.

Big Brother All Stars - Spoilers

Yay. So Chicken George used the veto and Jase was put up in his place. Word in the house is it may be Jase to go. Good. But either way, lame ass Dr. Will, or Jase, will be meeting the Chenbot this Thursday.

Joker's Updates

Tim Gunn's Podcast - Episode 2

You get some background on the show. I guess Tim and Vincent are like oil and water. A confrontation between Tim and Vincent didn't make the show. Although he says he would rather deal with him, the Zulema from last year.

Guess I could never convert

I have tatoos, and the following stuff about Jewish funerals, I couldn't comply with:

'Cremation is not allowed in Jewish law because the body was given to us as a gift from G-d who expects us to take care of ourselves and return in the best condition possible.

Autopsies are not allowed according to Orthodox law, nor donation of body organs. A Rabbi must be consulted if an autopsy has to be done or an organ donation is being considered. It is acceptable, however, to donate a kidney during the persons lifetime.

Embalming is not allowed. This process of removing blood, discarding it down the drain and substituting preservative chemicals in the body, is considered desecration of the deceased person and is forbidden by Jewish law.'

Monday, July 24, 2006

Strange Invite

I got this weird invite for a wedding, I assume, for a Nicole Johnson and Zachary Arnold sent to Mr. and Mrs. Brando.


I don't know a Nicole Johnson, I think. I know an Erin Johnson, and I sometimes run in to her at Lipgloss. The invite is for a ceremony in Kansas. I don't anyone in Kansas. Is this a scam or something?

Real World Denver - The Crew

Ran in to the Real World crew on the way home from work this evening. Three of the crew members were walking down the mall with camera and equipment out. The black dude with the 'fro that Get Real Denver posted was there. Also, the chick who denied being part of the show when I asked her at Pride, was there. Didn't see any cast members around, so not sure what they were filming.

Debbie Downer - A Tribute

Rachel Dratch has joined Tina Fey in leaving SNL to work on Fey's new show '30 Rock'. So in honor, a salute to Debbie Downer.

Big Brother All Stars - Jase reformed, not so much [Spoilers]

Thank god he is supposedly out on Thursday and I am glad I don't have the feeds.

Chicken George won Veto comp, and James is contemplating putting Jase in his place.

Jase On You Tube - Audio NSFW

'I think I'm done with the sofa.....

I think I'm done with the hall,
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby,
Let's go outside'

George Michael 'Outside'

So George Michael got busted again. News Of The World caught him in a tryst in London park. How funny that 'Outside', was the last song played on my mp3 player this morning on the way in to work.

George isn't handling retirement gracefully. Probably the most disturbing part are the images of his tryst partner. I won't post pictures as English tabloids are notoriously litigous, but I will link to it.

'News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver.

When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed:

"I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!"

Meanwhile his new buddy Kirtland crept from the undergrowth looking sheepish and rushed to his Ford Transit van. As he opened the door a grubby, stained mattress was clearly visible in the back.'

Goggle Nazi

So there's this guy at the place where I tan, that I can't quite get a fix on. He is the only person on staff who insists on me showing him, that I have my eye gear. I am usually the only one there, and thus, haven't seen if he enforces this with others.

None of the other Tanning Specialists ask to see the eyewear.
He's kinda young, and my type, but my gaydar isn't working on him. I kind of get the feel something is up, but can't decipher it.

He doesn't strike me as being family. Besides being the Goggle Nazi, there has been little things here and there that have struck me as odd.

One time he walked me to my tan room cubbyhole. Never in all my years of tanning, has anyone ever done that. Well, once, when I was using a machine I hadn't used before. On a separate occasion, he was waiting right outside the door, after I had finished.

This place is never busy, which is why I go, but I don't see the need to be waiting at the door for people to finish. Again, no one else that works there has done that either.

Another thing is he always seems to get flustered when I talk to him. Instead of talking normally, he stammers and talks low; often leaving me confused as to what he said. And most recently, as I was on my way out the other day, he calls me by name and asks 'how was it?'.


How do you respond to that?

'It was hot! And bright!'.

So now I am intrigued to see if something is afoot. Would be cool if there is, because he is kind of cute. But then again, if he's straight, and just a freak, that would mean something else.


Real World Denver - Wild Oats

I keep forgetting that the cast/crew shop at my Wild Oats. Get Real Denver finds out that the grocer has hooked up with the show. I would find it funny if I ran in to Davis again.

'Hmm.. it reminds me of when we contacted an Outward Bound board member about whether or not 'The Real World' Denver cast were working for them as mountain guides. That board member declined to discuss details because of a signed waiver.

In other words, if it wasn't true, they would have told us. Instead they said they couldn't talk about it, more or less confirming for us that yes, they were working with MTV.'

Sugar 2

[Click image to enlarge]

Denver Infill has some info on the building that will reclaim a parking lot in LoDo. A step in the right direction.

'The Sugar2 building will make that half of the block complete and will give the 1500 block of Wazee a solid street wall on both facing blocks... a rarity in LoDo. So, here's to the little Sugar2 building and its role in eradicating the anti-urban surface parking lot from one of our most urban places, Lower Downtown.'

New Word: 'Crackerbilly'

I just saw someone that I thought was an old co-worker, and that word created itself in my head. It's a combo of cracker and hillbilly. Definitely described the old co-worker.

Old Fashioned

From Gawker:

'News Corp overlord Rupert Murdoch speaks out on gay marriage:

'I believe it is wrong. I'm considered homophobic and crazy about these things and old fashioned. But I think that the family - father, mother, children - is fundamental to our civilisation.'

The twice-divorced Murdoch, whose three wives have borne him a total of six children, is responsible for such other contributions to our civilization as 'Temptation Island,' 'The Littlest Groom,' and 'Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy.'

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I Heart Rockabilly

From one of my favorite bands who, unfortunately, broke up.

powered by ODEO

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Six Degrees Of Fun!

My friend Heidi has been giving me random celebs to link:

-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 12:25 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

OMG. You are awesome. Do it again! Do it again!

Anne Heche and Greg Kinnear

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:33 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Anne Heche was in 'Six Days, Seven Nights with' Harrison Ford, who was in 'What Lies Beneath' with Michelle Pfeifer who was in 'Wolf' with Jack Nicholson who was in 'As Good As It Gets' with Greg Kinnear


-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:44 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

You are a gash dern genyous.

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:47 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

I think you may have got me addicted to it - on a smoke break i was trying to link uma thurman to matt dillon

-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:47 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Do it yet?

How about woody allen and jim carrey.

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:58 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Uma Thurman was in 'Paycheck' with Ben Affleck who was in 'Armageddon' with Liv tyler who was in 'One Night At McCool's' With Matt Dillon

working on woody/jim now

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:03 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Woody Allen was in 'Antz' [voice] - with Jennifer Lopez who was in 'Gigli' with Ben Affleck who was in 'The Sum Of All Fears' with Morgan Freeman who was in 'Bruce Almighty' with Jim Carrey

-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:04 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Holy shite!!!

Nick Cage & Selma Hayek

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:07 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Ooh. That's kinda tough because I am not a Nick Cage fan and thus haven't seeN many of his movies.

-----Original Message-----
From: Brando
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:39 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

That one was hard

Nick Cage in Fast Times At Ridgemont high with Sean Penn
Sean Penn in Carlito's Way with Al Pacino
who was in Dick Tracy with Madonna
who was in Four Rooms with Selma Hayek


Nick Cage was in The Rock with Sean Connery
who was in Entrapment with Catherine Zeta Jones
who was in The Mask of Zorro with Antonio Banderas
who was in Frida with Selma Hayek

Six Degrees Of George Clooney

From an email convo:

From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 12:03 PM
To: Brando
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch


Ok, do 6 (or fewer :) degree of sep between kevin kline and george clooney.

Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:24 PM
To: Heidi
Subject: RE: Messin with Sasquatch

Got it

Kevin Kline is in 'A Prarie Home Companion' with Tommy Lee Jones who was in 'Batman Forever' with Chris O'Donnel who was in 'Batman and Robin' with George Clooney

Soul confirmed to be non-existent, as well.

Lay's autopsy shows blocked arteries

'A Mesa County coroner calls faked-death rumors "absolutely ludicrous" and rules out suicide.

Former Enron Chairman Ken Lay had had at least two prior heart attacks and had severe coronary artery disease when he died of a heart attack in Aspen two weeks ago.'


'James was on her way home from her work as an oncology massage therapist Tuesday when a semi-truck hit her Volkswagen Beetle at I-25 and 20th Avenue.

The truck smashed the small car against the concrete median. Most of the metal on the car caved in. The only thing left intact was a small cocoon of space around the driver's seat.'


Ick. No.

'Will Gwyneth Paltrow and her hubby be battling it out over positions on the music charts?

The 'Proof' star - who is married to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin - reportedly is looking to release an album. Paltrow has been writing and recording songs with William Orbit, who produced her buddy Madonna’s 'Ray of Light' album, according to Brit paper The Sun.'

Except if your Muslim.

George W. Bush speaking to the NAACP:

'I come from a family committed to civil rights,' Bush said. 'My faith tells me that we are all children of God — equally loved, equally cherished, equally entitled to the rights He grants us all.'

So this is what's called a lunchtime poll......

What's your favorite Beatles song?

Mine would have to be 'Daytripper' and 'Magical Mystery Tour'. It's interesting to look back and see how influential the Sgt. Pepper's album was. They really were the first mainstream act to experiment with abstract sounds. Just another example of drugs expanding one's mind.

Leave your answers in the comments section.

'I'm looking for Tar-uh Con-nuhr'

That's what ran through my mind last night during Project Runway when they introduced the Miss USA chick.

So there ARE Reality TV Gods. Malan got kicked to the curb. Yay! He was this year's Santino for me. He was another pretentious a-hole, with no sense of how he portrays himself. When he went and said, 'it's sad. I don't really have many friends', I was like 'duh, maybe because you come across as an ass'.

Good riddance, I say. And wow, was his dress was butt ugly. It reminded me of Cave-woman couture. Snaps go to the flaming guy who does pageant dresses, and my future husband, Robert Best
for winning. Their dress was cool.

Geez, how gay am I?

Speaking of gay, I'm stoked Benji is still in the running for 'So You Think You Can Dance'.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

'Taylor Hicks really does 'get what he wants and goes where pleases.''

The Daily Dump has a funny post about seeing Taylor Hicks at a baseball game. There's no way Taylor is 29.

'The moment of the night, though, came in the top of the third inning. We had ordered food earlier in the game, and each of our orders came with a free bag of Utz potato chips. My friend Scott, who doesn't eat carbs, set his off to the side in case someone wanted them later.

Suddenly, though, Scott picks up his potato chips, which had been tucked in neatly by his side, and reached across my friend Jeff to hand them to me, sitting at the end of the row, closest to Hicks. He says, nonchalantly, as though it were to be expected, 'Pass these down to Taylor. Tell him they're from us.'

Bad Computer Karma

My home computer bit the big one the other night, and now my brand new work computer just spontaneously died. Blegh.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Six Degrees Of Wentworth Miller

Six Degrees Of Wentworth Miller:

'Rosario Dawson was in "Josie and the Pussycats" with Tara Reid.. who was in
"Van Wilder" with Ryan Reynolds..who was in
"Blade Trinity" with Dominic Purcell.. who was in
"Prison Break" with Wentworth Miller!!!'


So there's this new club by me whose decor looks like an interior I designed. How funny:

[Click image to enlarge]

Carson Daly: Manorexic

[Click to enlarge....if you dare]

Funky people get!

Holy Moley

A recorded call between a manic depressive having an episode, and an unsuspecting Telemarketer. I love the internets. From the Consumerist. Audio NSFW

Project Runway - Kicked Off Contestant Revealed

'Fans of Project Runway and bitchy gay guys, brace yourselves: Season 3 contestant Keith Michael, he of the face like a bird (fine, a cute bird), may have cheated on his Project Runway application. A sharp eye over at Television Without Pity notes the similarities between many of Keith's portfolio designs compared with those of some major designers, such as Lacoste and Marni. Keith, who fulfills my longtime fantasy of Jude Law and Greg Kinnear making delicious manlove and then producing a skinny, elf-like child, won last week's challenge with a pretty halter dress stitched out of some blue bedsheets. But according to last week's previews, we know something major goes down on Wednesday night's episode, as Tim Gunn's brows appear to knit a 13-ply cashmere cardi. (i.e. He looks pissed.) Look at these pics, then decide':

Left: Keith, Right: Giambattista Valli Spring 2006

Left: Keith, Right:Lacoste Spring 2006

Left: Keith, Right: Marni Spring 2006

Monday, July 17, 2006

Consumerist On Nightline

My buddy Ben made it on air about the Vincent Ferrari/Comcast debacle on Nightline. Go Ben!

Back To The Future

[Click Image To Enlarge]

Denver Infill has an interesting post on what would have become of the Central Platte Valley, had voters approved a bid to build the Convention Center down there.

Looking at the various plans and elevations, I would have to say I am happy with what we have now. I like the Convention Center where it's at on 15th. And the Riverfront development is much better than the ugly superbuilding portrayed in the original plans.

Who knew she sang?

Paul Oakenfold ft. Brittany Murphy - 'Faster Kill Pussycat'

It sounds like a combo of Benny Benassi and Junior Jack to me.

I think 15th is more 'seedy' than 14th

Spiffing up 14th Street

Developers, city hope to create lively, inviting path between convention center and Larimer Square

'With thousands of visitors pouring out of the new Colorado Convention Center and wandering down 14th Street to Larimer Square, spiffing up the somewhat seedy thoroughfare has taken on new urgency.

Civic leaders are asking public and private sources for the money to turn it into something the city can be proud of, a lively, pedestrian- friendly corridor they like to think of as its "cultural spine."

After six months of study sponsored by the Downtown Denver Partnership Inc. and Downtown Denver Business Improvement District, among others, the price tag for transforming 14th Street was determined to be between $6 million and $10 million.'